When you loose your little girl
When you loose your little girl and you think you are starting to heal--you are. You are healing. As much as someone whose broken heart struggles to beat on the outside of their body can heal. Oh, and just a tad bit of information, "time" doesn't heal all wounds...hold your dying child in your arms and tell me it does...really?
But when you loose your little girl, the pain can hit you out of the blue at anytime, for any reason. The fact that you live each day without her is reason enough.
And when you loose your little girl, it defines you. But you wouldn't want it NOT to. Sometimes, the only thing I want people to know about me is that my daughter died. Nothing more!
When you loose your little girl, you live in a dream world. Aware that you are "doing better", maybe even thriving, but constantly aware that she is not there.
The good times aren't so much "good" as they are triumphant. Because enjoying yourself and having fun....those aren't your run of the mill emotions you experience easily after your daughter's death. They are hard earned rewards for having HOPE.
When you loose your little girl, you understand what is really important in life without understanding life at all.
When you loose your little girl, you don't fear or fight getting older. You embrace it and have the ultimate gift to look forwards to in the next life--while simultaneously wondering and struggling with living your everyday life on this earth and how you will possibly make it through.
But even if our daughter doesn't die before you--life is still hard. I don't plan on ever figuring it out. But I plan on continually improving through the love of God, love of others, and love of self, and strengthening my balancing act skills so that I'm able to connect with my daughter in another world without falling off the tightrope in this one. That's all.
Krista, you continue to inspire me...the Grace and courage you have shown...though I can't imagine your grief, and won't pretend I know what you are going through..I promise to pray for your family...losing my 27 year old sister( I know that does not compare to losing your child) I have learned to appreciate every Second...not every minure..but every second...bacause we are not promised the next second...seeing my parents grief over the loss of my sister...I know your pain at times us unberable..but with God's Grace you continue to fight everyday...it really is inspiring ...and I know God's garden is so much more beautiful with your sweet Angel...who I'm sure is planting Pink and brown Polka*dot flowers..i know she is looking down so proud of how you are keeping her Legacy ~to have Joy,Love and Laughter~ alive everyday and I have no doubt once her splash pad is ready....she will be right there eith her sisters...splashing in the Golden sun as the gentle breeze blows through the trees and rustles through your hair...that is your sweet Angel Ava Shaye letting you know..her love will be with you always...and one sweet day ...When God says it is time...she will be in your arms again....THANK YOU so much for sharing your story, teaching me to cherish every single second..
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