Tuga the Sea Turtle

I know...I know...I'm soooo behind in blogging. It is labor day weekend and my last post was memorial day weekend...seriously? Well, I have a few drafts I will be editing and putting in a little later. I have just been so busy, and blogging falls to the waist side.

On with my story~ the other night, before we went camping for the weekend, tuga the sea turtle episode came on t.v. Aynslee loves "tuduls" so she was excited....but for me, I have been missing my sweet Ava here lately and this was just another reminder of something that she absolutely loved and is not here to enjoy. Tuga the Sea Turtle....one of her favorite episodes on Diego. I stopped, and I remembered. Her last day on this earth, at the zoo, she wanted to ride the tiger. Half way through the carousel, she spotted a sea turtle and said, "mama, I wanna ride tuga the leatherback sea turtle". haha.....what a little vocabulary for a 27 month old. huh? Smart little cookie! Anyways, I told her we had to stay on the tiger, and that maybe we could come back later and ride tuga, or maybe the "next time". Well, there was no "next time", and why didn't I just ride it twice and let her ride tuga I will never know. Another regret that I will hold on too forever.
She would run into the living room...little feet pattering down the hall...."mama, mama, tuga's on". In this little episode, I see so much...the ordinary moments of a "normal" day. Oh my love for that girl. I sure do miss you sweet Ava. I hope in Heaven, you get to see lots of leatherback sea turtles  "tuga's".

summa, summa, summa time. :)

Ahhh...memorial day weekend....opening of the "lake season". It was soooooo needed this year, more than any year ever. Jim and I have literally been "going" since November..Ava's Birthday (10 ton weight on our heart), Holiday's (running around + 10 ton weight on our hearts), then Jim was gone from late January until April (single mom monday-saturday) at the same time, planning a 5k race with over 2000 people (with a 10 ton weight on my heart), then Aynslee's first birthday, Aynslee's dedication, mutiple birthday parties, and finally, FINALLY, memorial day weekend, we have NOTHING PLANNED except got to the lake as a family (minus one, WITH a 10 ton weight on our heart).  I think it's easy for people to forget that Jim and I are different, we are wounded, our hearts are broken in pieces, and yes, maybe with some time, those pieces may be bandaged together some, but we are forever wounded by our loss of Ava. Everything we do, we do with a broken heart...missing, yearning to hold, love, touch, and hear Ava, that is in every ounce of our existence...at every minute of every day. The lake =peace to us....for just that little bit. And no, I'm not talking about the "peace" you are thinking about, I'm talking about a peace that only the lake can bring to us lake rats. :) Sure, we miss Ava, the whole time we are on the lake we think about her, but that's nothing new. We are ALWAYS thinking about her....our darling first born. Here is little Ava, our darling lake rat....just like her mamma and dada.

Aynslee loves the lake and the water. She is FEARLESS when it comes to the water. She will jump, dive, and splash all day if we will let her. Again, reminds of another little sweetheart with the last name Bright {ava shaye}.

hugging her "ball". 

dada teaching her how to drive the boat. 

thank you Harrison family for the hat! :)

 She sticks her head out of the boat and yells "dada. dada." She knows dada is ALWAYS in the water.

again, saying "dada"....sweet girl. 

Then we went to eat...Friday nights, we like to get off of work, hit the lake and watch the sun set on a boat ride down the water...the only thing that sucks is the boat ride home (in the dark with lots of logs).

There are ducks and Aynslee went NUTS! 

Chasing the ducks. 

She decided this one was scary....I can see that Ayns. :)

yes, we are so cool, we have a pool on our boat. 

And this picture above was after the WORST storm on the lake we have ever been in. It was lightening, raining, hailing, and the trees were blowing sideways. I have never seen a storm this bad on the water. It was so bad, one of our very, very precious friends boat SANK, yes, it sank....bless his heart. It was a new Malibu boat. Poor guy..it basically took on more water than it could handle and SANK. :( It was Ava's little buddy, Mike. She loved Mike...and thought he was the absolute COOLEST thing on the water.

and her birthday collage...

precious!!!

Isn't she a....

doll baby? Maybe I'm just partial....

But I am sure loving these croc boots and swimsuit...and the duck just tops it off. :)

Aynslee's one year pictures

Completely forgot to post her one year pictures on the blog....crazy me.

I wanna eat those chunky monkey legs!!!!

13 months and so silly!

Aynslee is so silly these days. She is walking everywhere...and has been for a month now. She bends her head down and looks through her legs....see

Her speech is developing at such a rapid rate. I LOVE it! She says about 8-10 real words. Her favorite still is "dada", but "ball" is a close second. Everything we see in the grocery store is a "ball"...watermelons, oranges, apples....basically anything that is round...she will point and say "uh ball". She says "ti-o" for chico...whom is her little buddy. She loves to poke your eye out (literally) and say "eye"...she knows mouth, ears, and belly too...and we are working on saying those, but she's not quite there yet! :) She is obsessed over telling you body parts.

She was weaned this week, so sad for her (and mommy). But she was a little trooper. It only took 2 days! Now, she is becoming attached to her little monkey and a cup. My friends mom is making her a monkey out of Ava's Matilda Jane dress. I can't wait to see it!!! I'll post pics as soon as I get it back.

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” And he worshiped the LORD there." 1 Samuel 1:27-28

Today we dedicated our precious Aynslee. It is such a special time for us; having one child in Heaven and one on this earth. We wrote a letter to Aynslee to be opened the day she is baptized. In a nut shell, it tells her that from this day forward we all "dedicated" ourselves to raising her in a Christian home (Eph 6:4), and that we will teach her the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ (1 Cor 15: 2-4). We pray that she shall learn His gospel (Gal 3:26) needed for her salvation and eternal life. We want all us to be a COMPLETE family one day in God's great heavenly kingdom. Here is the letter we wrote for her.

Here are a few pictures from the event. :)

I can just imagine little Ava hugging us tight in this picture. 

I love how they have the same "look" here. 

She didn't like her "fluffy" dress. We ended the dedicated "nakie". LOL

And our covenant from both Ava's dedication (4-20-2008) and Aynslee's (5-15-2011) was from Deuteronomy 6:5-7
" 5 You must love the Lord your God with your whole mind, your whole being, and all your strength. 6 These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind, 7 and you must teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road, as you lie down, and as you get up". 

And here is precious Ava (4-20-2008)...YES, April 20th is Aynslee birthday. :)