understanding?

I know...it's been way too long and I have contemplated on deleting the blog...but first, I want to have it printed. I feel like it has been my open journal for over a year now. I found this poem and just wanted to share...it is so true, yet so sad it has to be this way. Sometimes, others add to your pain without meaning to....

So You Want to Understand?

You say to me, "It's been a year,

When will your grieving end?

Why can't you be like once you were,

my smiling and happy friend?"

If you really want an answer,

though I wonder if you do,

I'll take you deep inside me

where sadness dims the view.

First, my friend, for your sake,

come close and take my hand,

and we will pray that what I share,

you won't ever have to understand.

The "me" you once knew is no more,

it died right with my child,

a voice was stilled forever,

yet the echo drives me wild.

You say you lost Aunt Bertha,

so you have known death too,

Aunt Bertha, however, was not your child,

and she was 80, not 2.

I barely survived those first few months,

coping was a dreadful task,

I'd tell you I was doing fine

while sobbing behind my mask.

If I talked about my precious child

you turned away in fear,

you couldn't stand to see me cry,

nor would you share my tear.

I wanted you to speak of her,

please, won't you say her name?

But you pretended she never was,

so she died over and over again.

Oh, I see that you're uncomfortable,

you no longer want my hand,

so as it was before we talked, my friend,

you don't want to understand.

~Author Unknown